Today was interesting. At work I got to meet the new manager who oversees the my group. She gave a presentation for objectives for 2013. I loved her and I loved the meeting. She has a passion for what she does and it shows. Her enthusiasm is catchy and her commitment to excellence is admirable. And... she is a fellow Christian. I found myself excited for the upcoming year. I was thanking the Lord for bringing me to my company when I realized what I was doing. Thanking the Lord? This isn't a church - it's corporate America. I am not assisting inner-city youth or third world children - I am serving Fortune 500 banks. I am not a pastor's wife - I am not anyone's wife. This isn't what I wanted. So then why I am happy and excited about it? Because I have finally surrendered to the fact that I am in the center of God's will for my life - and He knows better than I do.
I can't count the number of times I believed that I knew what I wanted. I struggled and strive to acheive whatever it was and when I failed I was sad and miserable. Only to find out later that whatever I was chasing - I am glad I did not catch it. I didn't know it then - but God did.
So when will I learn to trust Him? He has proven time and time again that His Ways are not my ways, His thoughts are not my thoughts - but they are better than mine.
A few moments before the meeting started, I found out there was another meeting taking place - an all staff meeting at my church. Four years ago, I wanted nothing more than to be on staff at North Way. I knocked on every door looking for one to open. I didn't know then what I know now. I love my church and I love the people - but I am not fit to be on staff. I wouldnt last a whole day and my friends would become my enemies. I am thankful that God had me in the right conference room today.
Scripture tells us that "many are the plans of a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails". I had many plans for my life - and almost none of them have come to pass. With my natural eyes, I seem a life of unfulfilled dreams and unmet wishes. But with my eyes of faith, I am beginning to see a life of a fulfilled God-given destiny. I knew what I wanted, but I am starting to appreciate that God said "no". I think my Father really does know best.
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