Battles - Seen and Unseen

These past four days have been insane. Not necessarily bad, just insane. On Thursday, my co-worker who was the one who trained me got let go. I felt bad for him - because I have been in the position of suffering the consequences of my stupid decisions and it's not a fun place to be. At the same time, I had to "step up to the plate" as I am now the one responsible for the clients' reports. I had prayed for my co-worker and then prayed for the rest of the team and I really felt God's peace and I knew He would enable me to do what needed done.

I thought Friday was pretty good. I made the effort to go in early and stay on top of things and I felt okay. The day was long and I was mentally and physically exhausted in the end, but still in good spirits.

Saturday - UGH! On Saturday I made an unintentional mistake that caused such a tsunami of emotions in me. I am beginning an Adult Accelerated Program at Carlow University. I will be taking classes on Monday evenings and every other Saturday. This Saturday was new student orientation. It was scheduled from 12-4. I got there early because I was told the bookstore closed at 1 that day and I wanted to get my books before orientation. Upon registering for orientation, I discovered that my Saturday class began that morning! I was supposed to be in class at 8am and I didnt realize it. I panicked. Big time. Because it was 11:30 and the class is scheduled 8-12, someone took me to the classroom. It was empty. They assumed the teacher let the first class go early and they told me to email him. Well, he didnt let the class go early. This is a Biology class and he already had the students in the lab!

Apparently, the class is 3 hours of lecture followed by an hour of lab and I had missed it all. I am a person who either does things with excellence - or just doesnt do it. I was crushed to have made this mistake. The professor met with me in his office after class. He gave me the syllabus and a stack of other papers. There is no real way to hear his lecture and no way to make up the lab. And there will be a quiz next class! Thankfully, there is an extra credit project I can do to make up some grade points. Sitting with him caused me to miss the first 30 minutes of orientation - which was lunch. I then sat through 3 hours of orientation. Afterwards I went to the bookstore. I only had enough money to get books for two of my three classes. The second class doesnt start till March 11th so I have time. But two books cost me $300 - for thin paperbacks. I thought the day would end there, but it didn't. They lined us up to get our parking passes. At CCAC, they simply checked my student id and then gave me a parking sticker to keep in my car window. Here, they looked at my schedule and asked me to pay $120 for a parking pass! I just spent $300 on books and I didnt have the money for this. I wasnt expecting it. So my Monday class starts tomorrow and I am unable to park on campus.

So today is Sunday. Typically one of my favorite days and it has been up and down. Church was great. I was so thankful to be back in a worship service. I was soooo done with the Christmas carols. Pastor Jay spoke a message that I really needed to hear (of course). Then I went to breakfast with my friends which I always love.

So after breakfast I head to the office - wanting to stay on top of things. As I am driving there I am talking to a friend who is yelling at me and calling me names for "volunteering" to work on a Sunday. That upset me because many many many times I have been able to leave work early to take care of personal business. I am happy to give back when I need to and putting in the extra works BENEFITS ME! (HELLO!!!)
So I was already cranky when I got to the office. It's amazing how I can allow one conversation to take away the good morning of church and breakfast. I log on and check my email and ended up being snippy to someone I care about. I hate when I do that. Just to ice the cake, I felt a migraine starting before breakfast and I took Excedrin. Well it came back with a vengence and I got an upset stomach to boot. Not easy to work when you feel sick like that. I left at 4pm with a long list of things still needing to be done at home.

All the above ramblings have been my "seen" battles - the physical, daily, battles.
They are the easy ones. The spiritual and mental battles are a roller coaster and I quite frankly want to get off the ride.

When my co-worker was let go, I knew it was a time to accept the challenge and step up and show folks what I can do. I felt willing to do whatever it takes and I wanted to give back to the company for all they have given me.

When I began the journey with school, I knew it would not be easy. I knew sacrifices would need to be made. They say you should plan that for every credit you are taking, to spend 2 additional hours each week with homework. So I am taking 7 credits - I will need approx 14 hours a week for homework. Yeah.

So of course I have to think about where the sacrifices will be. My family and friends speak logically and tell me I cannot continue all my church activities. I still mentor every other Sunday from 1-5. I am still on the LAMP Leadership teams which meets once a month but I am supposed to be doing things besides attending the meeting. I fill communion cups once a month. I lead the Thursday evening ladies Bible study. I had just resigned from my work on the hospitality team. However, I was asked to be a Community Leader and oversee a few small groups. Obviously, I can't do all this and do my job and be a good student. It's impossible. So what do I keep and what do I resign from. I decided that I had to continue leading the Thursday night ladies Bible study because when I don't do it, I dont study the Bible. I need the curriculum and the accountability of the group.

As much as it will pain me, I probably have to decline being a Community Leader, and I will probably sob like a child when I email Pastor Bryan and resign from the LAMP Leadership team. I know, I can't have my cake and eat it too. I can hear the voice of dear friend and mentor who went to be with Jesus a few months ago saying to me: "Raquel, what you want, depends a lot upon what you want".

My battle with what to keep and what to quit is actually an unseen battle. Because the real issue is - I have staked my identity in what I do for the kingdom of God. I love to serve in the church. I remember a few years ago one of my pastors said to me "Raquel, you serve this church in ways that I wish everyone would". Another pastor said to me "Raquel, if I had ten of you, we could change the world". I have been known for all I do in the church - and now I am backing away from most of it.

However, where I have gone wrong is in my thinking. The Bible does say "Seek first the Kingdom of God". But it does not define the Kingdom of God as being "church" or church activities. I believe what the Word is saying is to seek God first, and then follow His will for your life as top priority. I truly believe God has lead me to my company. My schooling will help me to do better and stay with that company. So if it is indeed God's will for me to be in this company, then I am seeking first His kingdom by doing well in my job and working as unto the Lord like Scripture says.

As much as I know that - I still feel horrible for ceasing some church activities. I don't feel like its a "sin", I just feel like its not me.

My biggest fear in all of this is losing connections with fellow Christians. God never intended the church to be some place we went to once a week. The church is the people, not the steeple and God intended for us to be in community with other believers. A dear and strong Christian woman, Veronica Reilly, once said that it is important that we benefit from the riches God placed in each of us. We cant do that if all we do is attend a church service and leave.

These are my battles - seen and unseen. God is taking my life in a new direction. I feel His leading, I sense His confirmation, I feel His peace and divine enablement. Yet, I feel like I don't know who I am- and I am afraid of unintentionally ending up on a proverbial island, isolated from strong Christians.

Do I have this all figured out? No. But Pastor Jay had many comforting words in his sermon. God not only loves me, He likes me. And in the end - we win.

That is enough to anchor me while the battle goes on. :)

I KNOW WHAT I WANT! I think...

Today was interesting. At work I got to meet the new manager who oversees the my group. She gave a presentation for objectives for 2013. I loved her and I loved the meeting. She has a passion for what she does and it shows. Her enthusiasm is catchy and her commitment to excellence is admirable. And... she is a fellow Christian. I found myself excited for the upcoming year. I was thanking the Lord for bringing me to my company when I realized what I was doing. Thanking the Lord? This isn't a church - it's corporate America. I am not assisting inner-city youth or third world children - I am serving Fortune 500 banks. I am not a pastor's wife - I am not anyone's wife. This isn't what I wanted. So then why I am happy and excited about it? Because I have finally surrendered to the fact that I am in the center of God's will for my life - and He knows better than I do.

I can't count the number of times I believed that I knew what I wanted. I struggled and strive to acheive whatever it was and when I failed I was sad and miserable. Only to find out later that whatever I was chasing - I am glad I did not catch it. I didn't know it then - but God did.

So when will I learn to trust Him? He has proven time and time again that His Ways are not my ways, His thoughts are not my thoughts - but they are better than mine.

A few moments before the meeting started, I found out there was another meeting taking place - an all staff meeting at my church. Four years ago, I wanted nothing more than to be on staff at North Way. I knocked on every door looking for one to open. I didn't know then what I know now. I love my church and I love the people - but I am not fit to be on staff. I wouldnt last a whole day and my friends would become my enemies. I am thankful that God had me in the right conference room today.

Scripture tells us that "many are the plans of a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails". I had many plans for my life - and almost none of them have come to pass. With my natural eyes, I seem a life of unfulfilled dreams and unmet wishes. But with my eyes of faith, I am beginning to see a life of a fulfilled God-given destiny. I knew what I wanted, but I am starting to appreciate that God said "no". I think my Father really does know best.

New Beginnings and How It All Began

It's New Years Day 2013 and like everyone else I have taken time to look back in reflection and look ahead with planning and anticipation. The past year will not go down in my life's history as one of my favorites. Like any other year, it was filled with highs and lows, ups and downs. With my natural eyes, the lows were lower than normal and more painful and hard to get over. However, my spiritual eyes and my knowledge of the Truth (God's Word) tell me that God works all things for my good. Someday, I will walk side by side with Jesus and I will see clearly that His plan was perfect for me. For now, I must live by faith.

2012 was not just a difficult year for me. We experienced Hurricane Sandy and Sandy Hook and a myriad of other hardships. At times it may have seemed difficult to see God in the midst of these circumstances. I know I went through a dry season in my spiritual walk and I did not sense His Presence in the way that I typical do. So why all these hardships? Why can life be so tough? We need look no further than Genesis 1.

I got a new one year chronological Bible with readings for every day of the year in the order that the events occured. So this morning I read the Creation story as well as the story of the Fall of Man. See, when God created man, God had no intention of our lives being filled with hardship and turmoil and toil. God placed Adam and Eve in a beautiful garden that had all the food they could want. They didn't have to labor for it. God walked among them in the garden and spoke with them daily. They didn't struggle to hear a still small voice - they heard Him clearly. Oh they heard, but they didn't listen. God only gave them one rule. Just one. Do not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. We all know the story. The serpent deceived Eve. She convinced Adam. They ate the fruit... What really happened here? God had provided their every need. They knew no sorrow, no pain, they lacked nothing, they knew not the shame of sin (yet). All they had to do to maintain this carefree life was surrender and submit to God's design, God's plan. One rule - that was it. And it was a rule God gave to PROTECT them - not because He delighted in His authority. But Adam and Eve decided God didn't really know what He was doing. He couldn't possibly be right. Perhaps they even thought His ways were "old fashion" and times had changed and it was time for a new way. Well they got a new way. They were evicted from the Garden of Eden and made to toil for their food. With a list of consequences, sin had entered the world... and its been downhill ever since.

Before we get too upset with Adam and Eve, let's look in the mirror. We do exactly what they did ever time we choose our way over God's way. Each time we put ourselves in the drivers seat of our lives and have the Lord as a good luck charm in the trunk that we pull out in emergencies, we are committing the same sin that Adam and Eve did. By our actions we say: "God, we know better than you do how our lives should be run". So God's replies: "have it your way". 2012 was a picture of what "our way" looks like. Selfishness and self-centeredness gave birth to sin. Sin gave birth to sorrow, pain, loss, death.

Oh but thanks be to God that even when we have made a terrible mess, He does not leave us that way! His original intention in creating mankind is still His intention today. He desires an intimate relationship with each of us. Yes, the wages of sin is death and sin separates us from God. But God so loved us that He sent His son Jesus. Jesus left the perfection of heaven to come to this sin-stained world and be crucified. He took the punishment of our sins upon Himself. With His death He paid the price and with His resurrection He defeated sin and death and enabled us to not only have eternal life, but to have abundant life here on earth as we walk closely in relationship with our Savior. All we have to do is accept and receive that gift.

For me, I entered into a personal relationship with Jesus 24 years ago. My eternal life has been purchased with His blood and secured. However, my abundant life is a process and a daily choice. It amazes me that after 24 years, I still sometimes choose to do things my way. I still sometimes think I know what is best for me more than He does. I make decisions independently of Him, and then boy do I react when I don't like the way things have turned out.

I am so grateful that God is a God of New Beginnings. And you know what? It does not have to be a new year to have a new beginning. The Bible says His mercies are new every morning. He continually provides me with a clean slate and offers His love, His guidance, His wisdom, and His Presence to be with me each day. No, life will not be a bed of roses - not even in this new year. Sin will remain in this world until His Second Coming. But each day I have a choice. I can choose to think, act, and live independently and accept how that turns out, or I can choose to wake up, seek His face, seek His Will and surrender to it... and walk through this world hand in hand with my Creator, Savior, Father, and best friend, trusting that He will bring me through life's storms and accomplish His perfect will in my life. His ways do not always make sense. But both He and I have proven our track records. I like His better - and I am thankful for yet another new beginning to choose His Way once more.

When God Says No

For most of my life I have been on quest. I've been on quest to achieve what it seemingly unattainable for me. I have been on a quest for "normal". I have been "abnormal" for most of life and I have spent most of my life trying to change that fact. Up until I was five years old, it was just me and my mom. My mom was single but life for me was perfect. I never left her side those first five years and it was like I had my own personal Garden of Eden. But in late August of 1979, I had to leave my garden for the world of kindergarten. My very first day away from my mom and I got beat up by a bunch of fourth grade boys. That was my first encounter with the fallen state of man. Throughout my childhood, I was always different. I never quite knew why. I just knew the kids picked on me and called me names and I never could find a place to fit in. It always seemed I was never doing what the normal group was doing. This continued into high school and even when I joined a church and finished my last three years in a Christian school, I was still different. I never had a senior prom, no homecoming, no graduation party. After high school, I wanted to be in full time ministry so I went to Bible College, thinking now I would finally be... normal. I got to Bible College and I was told that the place was secretly known as a Bridal College. I was 20 years old and not really looking for a man at that time, but two years later when I left there - it was only me and one other girl that was not in a relationship. Again - weird, abnormal, different. I still had hope back then. When I moved out on my own, got a good job, and began adult life I still thought there was hope that I would become normal. I would marry, have kids, and my family would serve the Lord and be ... yep... normal. Its been hard for me. I look at normal everywhere I go. Most folks my age are married with kids. Mostly families (extended families) get together more in one year than my family has gotten togther in my lifetime. The last time my local family members were gathered together was the early 90s. It seems like every time I acheive a bit of a normal feeling, I lose it. I have spent many times in my best friend's house with her family. We've had dinners and have played cards and I have enjoyed it so much. I think "this is what normal people do". Well, my best friend sold her house to move to China - taking my little piece of normal. This past February, I received red roses in my office on Valentines Day - the first time in my life. For once, I was like the other ladies in my office. That "normal" experience lasted all of 7 weeks. I am 38 years old and I have been trying and praying for the Lord to make my life look like everyone elses. And for 38 years, the Lord keeps saying "NO". I don't know why the Lord keeps telling me no. I go through stages where sometimes it only bothers me a little, and sometimes it hurts so much I wish He would just take me home. Well, this past Thursday while in the Beth Moore Bible study, I was watching the video and Beth spoke God's Word directly into the sorest part of my heart. She said: "Pain does not have to be in vain. God is strong willed - not strong whimmed. God doesn't just let things happen on a whim. If He has been strong willed enough to say "no" to you in a matter you think will nearly kill you... something HUGE is up. I am not saying that it must have purpose, it has to do with YOUR PURPOSE. If you wanted it so badly and there was a "no" then there is some HUGE and Greater YES. Something in your life that when all time is told and eternity is our reality - your purpose will somehow have been wrapped up in that very greater Yes." It has taken a few days for that to sink in. A few days for me to allow it to bring some type of healing. No, it hasnt brought deliverance - at least not yet. It may still hurt when I see couples holding hands or holding babies. It will definitely still hurt when I see big families gathered together enjoying each other's company. I may still fight feelings of jealousy when I see those who passion and paychecks come from the same place. But one thing I know for sure: God is good. His ways are not my ways, His thoughts definitely are not my thoughts. But I have been in relationship with Him for too long to believe that His answer of no means that God is somehow cruel or uncaring. God is love and He loves me. And even though I don't understand it - I have to believe by faith that went God says no - it is because He is saying YES - to something bigger and better than my mind can comprehend. I am so thankful that the Lord brought me His Word through Beth Moore. It gives me something tangible to fight with when those feelings come. Now, when my eyes see what I can't have or can't be, I may still feel the sting of being told "no", but beyond that initial stings, is the comfort of the sweet, precious voice of my Savior - saying YES.

Submitting to His Script

I have a little devotional calendar on my desk at work. Yesterday morning when I got to work and flipped to the new day I read something that I can't stop thinking about: "Life is literally filled with God appointed storms. The massive blows and shattering blasts - not to mention the little, constant irritations... smooth us, humble us, and compel us to submit to His script and His chosen role for our lives" Swindoll I did not have any circumstancial storms yesterday. It was just another day. Oh but the mental storms I have... those little irritations... my constant thinking and planning and imagining... You see, the life I have is not the life I scripted for myself. Its a good life and a blessed life - but not the life I thought I would have, nor the life I would choose if given a choice. As a little girl, I pictured myself as a stay at home mom. My life would look just like the Wonder Years. Lol. When I got older and began my relationship with the Lord, I went to Bible College planning to be in full time ministry. Heck - I even thought maybe those two dreams would be joined and I would marry a pastor. What's that noise? Oh, its just God - cracking up laughing. The Bible says the Lord looks at the plans of man and laughs. I picture Morgan Freeman in the movie Evan Almighty - having a hearty chuckle when the man said "but I have plans". I wrote a script for my life. At least I thought I did. However, my loving heavenly Father smiles, looks sweetly at me and says "my child, you never held the pen". My script was as solid as writing in air with my finger. My life story is being written by my Creator. He is the author of Life and He has a plan for it. This morning I was still thinking of yesterday's devotional when I read the Proverbs for the day. Proverbs 19:21 says "many are the plans of a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." If I jump ahead to tomorrow's reading I see Proverbs 20:24 - "the Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way". I have no idea why I am 38 and single, working for a banking software firm, going to school for a industry I have no interest in... but God knows. Jeremiah 29:11 - for the I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not harm you, to give you a hope and a future. So though I often struggle that my life is what I thought it would be, I am glad that God is in control and the pen is in His hand. I am thankful because when those storms of life occur - those massive blows and shattering blasts - only His purpose is just cause for me to endure. I will deal with each constant irritation as it comes, knowing that I am walking in His chosen role for me at this time.

The Real Reality

Those of you who know me well know that I have a list of pet peeves. Traffic, slow drivers, people who speak while others are speaking, etc. My good friends know that one of my biggest pet peeves is that ridiculous question: "is the glass half empty or half full?" You see, I am neither an optimist, nor a pessimist. I am a realist. The answer to that most ridiculous question is: "YES". It is not an either/or, it is a both/and. The glass is both half empty and half full. Both parts are true. One part does not negate the other. I think both the optimist and the pessimist live in denial - of the other truth. For the past week God has been teaching me some things and this morning He showed me that I am right about the glass. Oh, but don't think I am going to use this blog to stomp on the optimists and pessimists. Oh no - this blog is called Life Lessons Learned Along the Way and I used it to share what God teaches me through life and His Word and that often involves me receiving correction from Him in some way or another. I may be right about the proverbial glass, but I was dead wrong on a more important subject. For the past several weeks, I have been really down in the dumps. I have tried to hide it, but you all know how well I do at not being transparent. I just havent felt "right". I havent felt peace, contentment... all the things I know I should have. I wasn't quite sure why I felt this way. I wondered if it was hormones. Or perhaps the fact that my friend and mentor of over ten years moved to heaven and I was just working through the grief. Earlier this week my friend and current spiritual mentor said something that struck a nerve. She said "I sense such an overwhelming unhappiness in you". Yikes! That is not a Christian should be portraying! So at first I sat there and tried to justify my feelings. I listed all the reasons I had to be unhappy: I just attended the funeral of a good friend. I am 38, single, and childless - always at the top of the list. My life isnt what I thought it would be. My best friend is about to move to the other side of the planet. My family isnt "normal". I never wanted a career. I wanted to be in full time ministry but I have bills to pay. So of course my faithful friend helped to me shift focus to the other truth of the glass. She spoke of all the blessings God has given me - and I began to make the mental list of things I am grateful for. I only have a high school diploma - but I have an outstanding job. I am living on my own and my bills are paid. I am a member of a wonderful church where I can be used in the areas I'm gifted in. I have a long list of wonderful friends and people who love me. I have one friend that texts me at random, unexpected moments and she has no idea how much joy that brings me. I have another friend who, when I first met her, I never thought I would be worthy of her friendship. I never thought I would be good enough to be in her inner friendship circle. We became friends - good enough to have lunch together on her birthday. God has allowed me to mentor a young girl in the inner city for 5 years and watch her grow. So I went over this list with my friend and I believe every part of it. But this list of things I am grateful for didnt take my unhappiness away. I didnt understand it. I found myself asking the question in Psalms: "Why so downcast oh my soul?" After my conversation with my mentor, God began slowly showing me that my communication with Him has been minimal. Being so busy and having many late nights, I chose to sleep in until the last minute in the mornings and had no time in the Word. My moments with Him were quick 5 minute prayers in the car. Going a few days like that is one thing - I went 3 weeks. And boy, have I become weak. Spiritually weak. Though I felt a void, I didnt recognize it as a longing for my Creator and Savior, I tried to fill it with other things: relationships, shopping, even pursuing ministries that God hasnt called me to - or at least not yet. Nothing worked. I couldnt shake this unhappiness - and I chastised myself for being unhappy. Well, this morning I woke up and though I have a huge to-do list for this weekend, I decided I was spending time with the Lord first, however long it took. I felt Him nudge me to begin the study that I will lead in two weeks - a study of the life of David. I read the first two sentences of the introduction and already God was speaking right into my life. I have been at this desk for 2 and half hours. I have been in the Word, I have been communicating with the Lord. I have been corrected and instructed by the Lord. And of course I have worshipped the Lord. Funny - not a trace of that unhappiness lingers. I have HIS joy, I have HIS peace. Its not a hyper, jump up and down kind of joy. Its a calm, satifying, inner peace and joy that comes only from time in His Presence. During the study lead me to Ephesians 6 - the well known portion on the armor of God. He showed me the countless times I neglected to put on the belt of truth and then got slaughterd by lies that I believed. Through an old testament story of Jonathan and his armor bearer, God showed me how I left myself susceptible to the enemy by not walking closely with Him. You see, I wasnt unhappy because of my list of negatives (the half empty part of the glass of my life). And focusing my thoughts on the positives (the half full part) didnt magically make me happy. Both of those lists are true. All of those things I listed still CO-EXIST in my life. They are reality. But Pastor Jay said several years ago that the Word of God has got to be MORE REAL than the circumstances we face. The real reality for me is that I am a child of God. I am a created being that needs to be in communication and fellowship with her Creator. I need to be seeking Him first every day, seeking His will for each moment, spending time in His Word and allowing it to be a lamp for my feet and a light to my path. I need to put on the belt of His truth every day and walk closly with Him. He is my reality. He is my source. He is my joy and my peace. This morning as I felt the washing of the water of His Word like a waterfall over me, I feel restored. There is nothing different about my circumstances. They havent changed. But I have. I pray I can continue to stay close to Jesus through the next few very busy months. Friends, if you catch me becoming overwhelmingly unhappy... please encouage me to get in the Word. Thanks.

Battle of the Mind

Today I could have been an illustration in Joyce Meyer's book "The Battlefield of the Mind". I spent some time in the Word this morning and headed to work. The first half of day was like any other. At lunchtime, I sat in my cube and did some more work in my Nehemiah Bible study. The lesson was really speaking to me and my highlighter was going like crazy. I got a text from a friend and was able to share the Word with her. Really cool lunch. So one would think that really cool lunch would put me in a great frame of mind for the rest of the day.... or.... not. For some reason, my mind drifted to some hurtful things that someone said to me yesterday. They really weren't that big of deal, but before I realized what I was doing, I found myself dwelling on that instead of the Word I just read and shared. I started to get sad and then I caught myself. How easily my mind can wander. It takes no effort for my brain to focus on the negative. So I repented for my stinkin thinkin (again) and I spoke a few Scriptures to myself and got back my attitude of gratitude. And then the work day got hard. I am facing some difficulties this week at work and I started to panic. I began to worry about things that havent happened yet (and may not happen). I began to doubt my ability to do the work and fear set in. Instead of speaking the truth of Scripture to chase these thoughts away, I let them get the best of me. My head looked like a big blown up black balloon. (The ladies in my Bible study will understand that). As I drove out of my office lot, I felt crummy. I didnt have the wits to utter an intelligent prayer, but I did say "Oh Lord, I need help". That was all it took. Like a gentle whisper, He reminded me that He would not lead me to a place and not equip me to be there. He reminded me that He is so much bigger, stonger, capable than the mountain I had envisioned. Refocusing my gaze on God instead of my problems and feelings, I began to worship. First, I just thanked Him and worshipped Him for who He is. Then, I turned on the worship music - loud enough to vibrate the windows. Peter Furler's song "I'm Alive" came on and as I praised our Father, I felt Him cleanse and restore me. This blog is about lessons learned. Today I learned how quickly my mind can stray and take me down. The only remedy for this is Scripture. The Word tells us to be transformed by the renewing of our mind. Life does not always allow us to open the Book when the need arises. So I must read it more, study it more, yes - and memorize it more. The Battle of the Mind is never-ending - and the Word is the only successful weapon. I am so thankful for my Savior - He has indeed given me all things I need for life and Godliness.