Spiritual Anemia

It's been a few weeks since I have written my last blog post. I usually write these posts after I have spent time with the Lord because I typically share what He is showing me. Unfortunately, I haven't spent that good, quality time with the Lord in awhile. I did not intentionally stop spending time with Him. So this morning I examined myself to see when and why I broke the habit of my quiet time. As you know, in early April, several trials hit me at once. Those trials forced me to the foot of cross because I had nowhere else to go. Being unemployed, I spent a ton of time with the Lord each day. I sought Him for peace and for the answers to my issues. Even though it was a very dark time for me, I felt His Presence so close - like never before. So what happened? Slowly but surely, circumstances turned around. I recovered two out of three of my major losses. Things started to look up again - and I stopped. I stopped looking up. Instead of throwing myself at the foot of cross every day, I threw myself into life. Nothing wrong, nothing bad - just busy with this, that and the next thing. I had a list of things I wanted to accomplish before heading back to work and I had people I wanted to spend time with before I got too busy again. For the past two weeks, I got out of bed and started running - just do, do, do. Slowly, I started to notice that while circumstances were favorable, something was not "quite right" with me inside. During worship on Sundays, I felt distant from God. (duh) I noticed that I was getting short with people in the grocery store or on the road. What was wrong with me? The Scripture tells us that He must increase and we must decrease. The only way for Him to increase in us is for us to spend time with Him. When we don't, the opposite happens, we increase and He decreases. The result is spiritual anemia. Obviously, it doesn't have to be this way. I think when circumstances are favorable, I just need more discipline to stay in the Word. I need to deliberately seek Him even when all seems to be well. I need to keep Jesus first in my mind and in my heart and not allow life (even the good parts) to put Him on the back burner. I am thankful for the trials that came into my life because they allowed me to experience a deeper intimacy and closeness with the Lord. At the same time, I am praying that I don't need Him to send any more trials in order to get my attention. With a new job and going back to college in the fall, I am going to be busier than ever. In that busyness, I must make time with the Lord a priority. Its only when I am spiritually healthy that I can be healthy in all the other ways. I am going to be meeting new people - new co-workers and classmates - I want them to see Jesus in me, not Raquel, and that can only happen when I stay focused on Him.