Coincidence? I Think Not!

During my last blog post, I mentioned that I needed to blog more often in order to process what God is speaking to me and doing in my life. In keeping with that decision, I am excited to share about an answer to prayer that I received today. The funny thing is – I didn’t realize it was an answer to prayer until hours after it occurred. Let the story begin…

To anyone who knows me, it is no secret that I despise summer. I abhor heat. I have been this way since my childhood. What some folks do not know, is that my doctor has actually diagnosed me with Reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder. Each summer, I get extremely lethargic. This lethargy is not just physical. Emotionally, I get apathetic. Mentally, I get lazy – my brain goes into a fog and I am lucky I know my own name. Spiritually, I become lukewarm. If I had my way, I would fall asleep in May and wake up in October. In the beginning of each summer, I try to talk myself out of it. I make plans of all the things I am going to do – and then I come home from work, and lay on my couch until it’s time to go to bed. I might have the tv on, but I am not really paying attention to it. I might play silly games on the iPad. The most aggravating part is that for some reason, when it is time to go to sleep, I cannot fall asleep.

Last night was particularly rough. I was tired. I went to bed at 9:30. I could not fall asleep. I took Melatonin. An hour later I ate a tablespoon of peanut butter and chased it with a glass of milk (the chemical reaction is supposed to help you sleep). I tried to make good use of the time and pray. It was one of those moments where the heavens seemed like brass. I heard nothing; I felt nothing. Slightly after 1 am, I was rummaging through my nightstand drawer and came across a book that my small group leader gave to me. It is called Prayer Points: Praying God’s Promises at Your Point of Need. It has Scriptures and prayers for various issues. Well, there was not one for insomnia, nor for Reverse SAD.

As I was flipping through, I noticed one for “boredom”. I was only “bored” because I couldn’t sleep, but I read what it had to say. One of the Scriptures was Isaiah 40:31: Those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on winds like eagles. They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.

The author’s comments were: “Have a conversation with God about how listless you are. Let Him know the feelings you have about each area of your life. Allow Him to speak into your current situation.”

I won’t type the whole prayer, but parts of it were “Lord, I need your help getting out of this rut. I have no energy and no passion for anything these days. I don’t know how to regain that and I am wary of fake, false, artificial means of manufacturing joy”. (Those who know me know that I abhor phoniness even more than heat). The prayer goes on to say “I trust that YOU are the Source of renewed passion in me, Lord. I pray that you will help re-energize me in a way that is authentic and real and true. Help me to embrace the promise of soaring high on wings like eagles and I pray it will manifest in my life in the coming days”.

So, I prayed that prayer wholeheartedly. I still felt nothing and before 2 am I did fall asleep – with the alarm set for 5. I woke up at 5 and tried to read the Bible and pray. I was so tired and kept yawning. I wasn’t really absorbing what I was reading. So, I got ready and went to work.

Various things occurred throughout the day. Things that I thought were just chance. At work, I had a meeting with my supervisor. He is very down to earth, realistic, and level headed (yes, I know you’re jealous – lol). I told him I felt like I was in a rut at work. My day was consumed with daily tasks and I was not getting to projects and I was not finding the time to continue learning and growing in my position. In 20 minutes, I was given several suggestions, tangible tools, and two books to read. I left that meeting pumped and excited to be challenged again in my work.

Then, I had a conversation with a friend who had mentioned they had a gym membership. I said that I could never afford one of those and they mentioned that their gym was only $20 a month. I thought there had to be a catch. After work, I went to that gym and found no catch at all. $20 a month, 24/7 access and a free trainer (by appt). Monday morning at 6 am, I meet with this trainer to discuss my needs and abilities (6 knee surgeries) and develop a customized fitness plan.

When I got home, I had an email from a church I visited in eastern PA. This church had a class before the worship service which was wonderful. I had communicated to this church how much I enjoyed their class and I told them I wish the state of Pennsylvania was smaller so I could attend the class each week. The email contained a link to watch each class on my own time via video – and a print out of the notes!

Finally, to ice the cake, I received a message from my aunt in Jamestown, New York. She and my uncle invited me up for a weekend in August. They want to hear my Cambodia story. As if the invite were not enough, they began to inquire about my favorite foods and beverages and it would appear that they plan to make me queen for the weekend! Spending time with extended family is a gift straight from the hands of God.

As all these things unfolded today, my silly self just thought they were random, chance circumstances. The invitation from family had me floating on air around my home – until I walked into my bedroom and saw the book on my nightstand. Then I remembered. I am not floating on air – I am soaring high on wings like eagles – less than 24 hours after I prayed for the reality of the Scripture to manifest itself in a true and real way.

I wonder how often we do that. We cry out to God for help, He answers, yet we do not see the answer because we think it is just life. I’m glad He didn’t let me go too long without realizing that once again His heart and hand were active in my life. I love how personal He is!

Know what else I love? That God wants us to be involved in our own growth. Like the Good Father that He is, He gives us good gifts, but He also teaches us how to use what He has given us. During a conversation with a friend who is known from wisdom, he used this example. Say you are out of work and in need of a job. As a Christian, of course you would pray and ask God to provide you with a job. But you would not pray and then just sit and do nothing and expect someone to call you and offer you a job. You pray, and then you create a resume, and search for jobs, and network with people, etc. You do everything you can do, and leave the rest to God. Having done all to stand, stand. Ephesians 6:13.

Last night I prayed a desperate prayer. Today, God gave me answers to every aspect of my problem. Spiritual lethargy – an online class with notes. Mental lethargy – new tools to stimulate growth in my job. Physical lethargy – a new and cheap gym membership. Emotional lethargy – a scheduled weekend with extended family.

God provided the answers. It’s up to me to do something with them. I still must make a choice. I have to choose to go to the gym and work out. I have to choose to implement the tools my supervisor gave me. I have to listen to the videos from the church and engage in the course material. And in August, I have to fill up my gas tank and drive to Jamestown, New York.

I have Reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder. The word “disorder” tends to imply that I am a victim and I cannot help it. That is a lie. I may still feel lethargic before October arrives, but it is my choice to act lethargic. I prayed. God answered. It is my turn to act.

And now, I will claim the promise of Psalm 127:2… He grants sleep to those He loves.